Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Kicking and Screaming
I continue to be surprised by the things that are revealed to me as this journey continues. What came to mind today is the amount of time I have spent in my life...well...kicking and screaming. Like, I don't want to do this thing. Or, Don't make me do that thing. I'm not having any fun. This is hard!
The humbling part is the realization that even though I am no longer two years old, I still can exhibit this kind of behavior. This immature, stomp my foot, do it my way behavior.
I look at this information with what feels like a sort of detached "hmmm...this is interesting" point of view. And a "hmmm...this is unattractive" observation.
And I think of one of my favorite passages from the Bible (one I have also written about recently): "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." And I wonder, can I rewrite that a little?
Let's see: "Cindy is patient, Cindy is kind. Cindy does not envy, does not boast, is not proud. Cindy is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Cindy does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Cindy always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Doesn't quite ring true on every point.
HOWEVER, I like the idea of heading in the direction of making it true. Of growing up. Of putting an angry past behind me. Of loving.
I like the idea of being willing to try.