Healing

People told me the type of surgery I had was a piece of cake.

I guess that's because instead of doing a big slice across the abdomen, they do four small holes.  Pretty amazing, really, what they can do with four small holes, a camera and I guess some very tiny surgical tools.

But I'm here to tell you that it still hurts.  There are going to be scars.

I'm feeling a bit frustrated today because I am not bouncing back the way I had hoped.  Every little thing seems to tire me out.  Then my side aches.  So I sit.  Concentrate on resting.  On healing, so I can get back to swimming and walking and shopping and cooking healthy meals.  I really want to wake up tomorrow and feel normal.

Then I realize, it's kind of like the weight loss.  I still have in me the old dream of "when I wake up tomorrow I want to be thin."  But this waiting period reminds me that healing of wounds takes time.  My body can't change overnight, as much as I wish it could.  But when it comes to the weight loss, it's not so much my body that needs to heal as it is my spirit.

The healing process can, frankly, be inconvenient.  But there is no speeding it up.  These things possess their own time tables.  So, as I sit and rest and await my physical healing, I also will try to understand that my spirit needs time to sit and rest too.  I need to understand that there will be scars that may always inhibit my ability to stay on top of my goal and living a healthy lifestyle.  I need to remember that although I feel down today, tomorrow can and probably will seem brighter.

Hugs.