Monday, October 22, 2012

HELP!!!!

I don't know if I can do this any more!

We're coming into the biggest eating season of the year, and I am already floundering.  My weight is up, then down, then up again.  I'm eating right and keeping track of my points.  Because of the gallbladder thing I haven't been able to exercise for the past month, and it shows! 

This time last year, I was determined.  Steely.  Uncompromising!  Getting through the holidays was tough, but I did it, and lost seven pounds to boot.  But now...I don't know if I can make it.  I feel like I'm starting out in a much weaker position.  My weight loss has not only slowed down, it has come to a grinding halt.  In fact, the last several days, it has been going up!  I don't know what I am doing wrong, or if my body is just rebelling and saying it's done.

I'm scared.  In previous weight-loss attempts, I've gotten to points like this.  I typically "pretended" for a few weeks that I was still making progress, and then would realize that I wasn't...and quit trying.  When I look back at my weight loss chart that is what I see...that I have basically made zero progress since the end of July.  That's three whole months!  Have I been pretending? 

I wish I could skip the holidays this year.  I wish every social occasion didn't revolve around food.  I wish food that is bad for you didn't taste so good.  I wish I wasn't overweight in the first place.  I wish being slim wasn't so darned important in our society.  I wish I could exercise!  I wish I didn't feel so ugly and unacceptable.  I wish I could really change.

Sorry to be so down, but this is where I am today.

I could use a hug.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, Cindy! I wish I had read this before i saw you this afternoon. I would have given you a bigger, longer hug! Please keep in mind that you have several (at least!) friends who are feeling exactly the same way you are. I am going to be realistic, honest ....... Whatever we call it .... And admit to myself that losing is just not going to happen for me at this time. But, I will still make healthy choices and try not to gain. And if I do gain......I'm still me and nobody will like/love me any less. It just makes me human! I wish I could pack you up and take you with me to Cabo! HUGS!

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  2. First, I love your honesty about where you are today. It is huge to share it and say it out loud and not just keep it to yourself.

    But second...I must strongly disagree with your statement you have basically made zero progress since the end of July. YOU HAVE MAINTAINED YOUR WEIGHT LOSS! You have not just given up and gone back to your old eating patterns. You have continued to persevere. You have focused on the next step in front of you and continued to learn new ways to eat. You have been cooking! This is all progress!

    And you are darling! And you absolutely have more gorgeous hair than anyone! :) I am going to find that picture from 2007 to remind you how far you have come.

    I have no idea why bad food tastes so good, but you have a wonderful support group filled with people who love you. We are all in the same boat sailing toward the murky seas of the holidays...but wait a minute! The holidays are about Jesus Christ! "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus," not on the mountains of food. Let us fix our eyes on faith, friends, family and fun...oh and ok. Some food, too, to give us energy to enjoy the faith, friends, family and fun!

    I can't help but think about Patsy's story...."It's too long, and it's too hard, and it's boring." "You've just described life. Get back on the bus!"

    I am here cheering you on from Houston. Nobody wants to gain weight over the holidays. Let's link arms (long distance) and face this wonderful time of year together!

    I love you,
    Your sister

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