Saturday, January 7, 2012
In a flash, the possibilities race through my mind. Popcorn. Potato chips. Peanuts. I feel an almost overwhelming urge to open the pantry door and stand there with eyes glazed over until I find the Perfect Crunch.
I stop. I ask myself the only reasonable question I can ask myself at such a moment.
My stomach is not growling. I need no sustenance to get me through the next few hours of my day. I'm a little bored. I'm putting off getting started on my chores...
It starts to make some sense. I realize that in the past, I would have immediately obeyed the cruch urge and grazed through the kitchen until it was way more than satisfied. I realize that I have a long history of using the activity of eating for purposes other than nourishment. Avoidance, for example. Boredome. Something To Do. Sometimes, I find I want to eat simply because I feel a little uneasy or uncomfortable.
Like right now. The mere fact that I'm finding myself wanting to eat when I'm not hungry is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me want to eat.
Thankfully, I know I don't have to obey that urge any more. I am learning that eating for reasons other than nourishment will not make me feel better about anything. In fact, I realize that when I have fallen before the crunch attack in the past, I always felt terrible after the crunching was over.
Disaster averted. This time. Praise be to God! Must stay alert...