Monday, January 9, 2012
A question of Time
It's the kind of slow like...going to school. You think you're never going to graduate and then you do. Or raising kids. It seems to take forever, but before you know it you're missing those days when they were still your little under-foot munchkins.
When I started this process I tried to predict how long it was going to take to reach my goal. Forget the small detail that I wasn't sure what that final goal will be. Nevertheless, I still wanted to KNOW. I wanted to know when I was going to feel normal again. I wanted to know when the pain of being overweight would be over. I made charts: It will take this long if I lose a pound a week, and this long if I lose a pound and a half a week, etc. Suffice to say that every scenario was a Long Time.
And yet, the time will pass whether I'm losing or not losing. Last July I had no idea what I would look like or feel like in January of 2012, and here I am over 40 pounds lighter. I'm changing, and yes--it is a slow process. But I'm starting to think that slow is good. I'm starting to entertain the idea that it doesn't matter how long it takes to "get there", because what is really important is the journey and what I'm learning along the way.
At some point I'll come to Graduation Day. I will reach that illusive goal. But for now, I think I'll just enjoy today.