I have a really hard time telling people, "No."
It happens with food. It happens with activities. It happens with being asked to volunteer.
As a result, I eat things I don't want to eat, do things I don't want to do, and find myself heading up comittees I didn't want to head up.
All that causes stress, which makes me want to EAT uncontrollably and with abandon.
I do all these things because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But I end up hurting myself! Now, that's just not right. It is also entirely possible that all these hurt feelings I'm afraid of causing in other people are simply imaginary to begin with. But even if they are not...even if saying, "No," hurts the person asking, is it right for me to say, "Yes," when I really don't want to?
There are times when it is appropriate to look beyond ourselves and our own needs so that we can help another person when asked. There are emergencies where we drop everything to deal with the situation at hand. There are also things we do for others because we can and it's not a big commitment...we are happy to help! I'm not talking about those times.
I'm talking about the times when it is appropriate to say, "No." There are times it is respectful to say, "No." It's certainly more respectful to say, "No," than to say, "Yes," and then be upset about what you've agreed to do. I need to quit being so afraid and to start saying, "No," when I should!