Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Storm After the Calm

Every day is hard.

Sometimes it seems all I think about is food and eating.  Yes, I'm counting my points.  Yes, I'm losing weight.  Yes, I'm a third of the way to my goal.

But.  Every day is hard.  I put on a happy face.  Do the best I can.  Pray. 

But.  Doubts creep in.  I'm approaching a point in my weight loss beyond which I have not traveled in over 20 years.  Can I break through the barrier? 

Last night I "stressed ate" a bowl of baby carrots.  I wanted a maragarita.  So bad.  Earlier in the day I had fought off the temptation to eat a donut.  Had to call my husband to "talk me down."  Today I find myself immobilized...unable to accomplish anything except that I am Not Eating.  The struggle feels unrelated to the success.  The success does not ease the struggle. 

Every day is hard.  But some days are harder than others.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Cindy,

    Well this is certainly an appropriate picture! Sorry for the struggle. At my retreat they said that you can't climb a smooth mountain. The rough places are necessary for you to get a foot hold and push yourself up. It's a good visual for me. I met lots more people would love you, but then...who wouldn't love you???!

    I know I do!
    Your sister


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