Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Everyone has a broken heart...
I held onto those old hurts, and used them to excuse myself from doing things like eating right or taking care of myself. I felt I was entitled to be miserable and to do as I pleased...to make up for all that had gone before. I had my story, and even if I didn't want to tell it to anyone, it was my very deliberate justification for indulging myself.
Then I began to understand that everyone has a story. Everyone has had their heart broken. This is a good thing for me to remember when I start feeling jealous about someone else's life or appearance. Realizing that we all deal with brokenheartedness has helped me to begin to get over myself, and to take some baby steps toward a healthy life. The inward rage and sadness I have carried for so many years has begun to melt a little bit. Whatever I have been through, I am still extremely blessed. Part of my healing has been to focus on the blessings instead of the old hurts.
But I am learning that even the hurts can be blessings. The more I am able to give my brokenness to God, the more I am able to experience the healing that only He can give. It's the same old story: Surrender! Surrender! Surrender! All the bad things from the past do not have to dictate who I am today! God will always be there to catch me when I fall, and when someone else knocks me down. His Perfect Love can pulverize all my fears.