Friday, August 31, 2012
Moment of Truth
After weighing in the other day at my WW meeting, I discovered that over the past three weeks I have gained 4.2 pounds. Also, I hurt my back last week so I haven't been able to exercise the way I'd like to. Add to the mix that I seem to be experiencing some kind of emotional "melt down" and have been feeling very depressed. Also, my blood pressure is up and I probably need to go on medication for that.
Such circumstances, I'm used to. Life never seems to flow along without difficulties for any length of time. The difference, now, is that instead of turning to eating as my safety/sanity valve, I'm trying to keep on program and behave like an adult. I'm about 50% successful in that effort. The crappy part is that trying to eat right and behave like an adult seems to only add to my stress level!
And yet, I know, deep down, that this is the battle I must win. It's time to grow up. I can blindly abandon myself to unhealthy ways of coping with the inevitable problems of life, or I can mindfully apply all the lessons I've been learning over the past year and move forward with purpose. For me, that means being able to hang in there with my program even though I'm not doing a very good job of it right now. It means hanging in there even though I want to pout about how hard it all is. It means hanging in there even when I don't feel like it.
The good news is that I knew this Moment of Truth was coming. The bad news is, it came! But I take comfort in knowing that while this is a personal battle, I don't have to face it alone. I don't have to pretend that any of this is easy. I know that my blog followers and friends are rooting for me, and I know...most importantly...that though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with me. So here's to facing reality, hanging in there, and getting on with it all. I love you guys.