Friday, August 31, 2012

Moment of Truth

It has been a tough week.

After weighing in the other day at my WW meeting, I discovered that over the past three weeks I have gained 4.2 pounds.  Also, I hurt my back last week so I haven't been able to exercise the way I'd like to.  Add to the mix that I seem to be experiencing some kind of emotional "melt down" and have been feeling very depressed.  Also, my blood pressure is up and I probably need to go on medication for that.

Such circumstances, I'm used to.  Life never seems to flow along without difficulties for any length of time.  The difference, now, is that instead of turning to eating as my safety/sanity valve, I'm trying to keep on program and behave like an adult.  I'm about 50% successful in that effort.  The crappy part is that trying to eat right and behave like an adult seems to only add to my stress level!

And yet, I know, deep down, that this is the battle I must win.  It's time to grow up.  I can blindly abandon myself to unhealthy ways of coping with the inevitable problems of life, or I can mindfully apply all the lessons I've been learning over the past year and move forward with purpose.  For me, that means being able to hang in there with my program even though I'm not doing a very good job of it right now.  It means hanging in there even though I want to pout about how hard it all is.  It means hanging in there even when I don't feel like it.

The good news is that I knew this Moment of Truth was coming.  The bad news is, it came! But I take comfort in knowing that while this is a personal battle, I don't have to face it alone.  I don't have to pretend that any of this is easy.  I know that my blog followers and friends are rooting for me, and I know...most importantly...that though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with me. So here's to facing reality, hanging in there, and getting on with it all.  I love you guys.

Hugs.


5 comments:

  1. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you during these trying times! We have all had recent setbacks and some depression for sure but we are all there for each other! (Thank goodness..) This time is no different-this too, shall pass. Just hang in there one day at a time and try to make the best choices possible in each situation that you can. I'm hoping that your back heals quickly and that your journey becomes somewhat easier to deal with. I am thankful every day that our paths have crossed at this point in our lives and that we can continue to help each other along these bumpy roads. Sending my love and continued support...

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  2. I am continually amazed at your self awareness and your ability to put words to feelings and emotions! What is going on here in Bako that so many of us are going through the same thing at the same time? I am so thankful that i have made so many wonderful friends to share my difficult times with. Our Weight Watcher group seems to do double duty, that is for sure! Love you Cindy and Vicki!

    Pam

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    1. I love you too Pam! How lucky are we to have such an amazing group of WW friends that can sympathize with our ups and downs (literally) because they too, have felt our pain? Cindy's ability to put it all into words so eloquently is amazing!

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  3. Awww...you guys are the best!

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  4. Can I get in on this lovefest? I love you, too, Cindy, and I love all of you who are supporting Cindy!

    (heart heart heart)
    Your sister

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