Vicki asked me a very good question after our Weight
Watchers meeting yesterday.
She wanted to know (after reading my last few blog posts)
why I care so much about what other people think of me and my weight.
It’s true. I
care. I care what everyone thinks. I care what you think.
As a matter of fact, I got my first negative comment a
couple of days ago on this blog.
Someone, anonymously, called me a Loser, and not in the positive sense
of being a weight loser. I deleted the
comment, but it hurt. It was probably
from some random person reading my blog who I don’t even know. But it still hurt.
Then I realized, this kind of negative reaction to me, my
ideas and my physical appearance, is what I expect from people. It goes back to that “not being good enough”
thing. Vicki’s question floated over me
like superimposed words hanging in the air:
Why do I care?
Today I’m contemplating the possibility of living a life
that is unencumbered by caring what other people think. I need to care what I think. And I need to care about whether the life I’m
living is one that is pleasing to God.
I need to realize that I can care about you, and not let
myself be limited by whether or not you approve of me. I still care what you think of me. I want you to like me and what I write. But if you don’t, I need to be able to let
that go and keep being the person I am supposed to be.
The hardest thing about putting my true feelings and
insecurities “out there”is knowing that someone can take
that offering and call me a Loser. So be
it. It’s worth the risk.
Hugs.
The real loser there was the anonymous poster.........
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Everyone wants to be liked and approved of by others but it is how you feel about yourself that REALLY matters...if you know in your heart that you are a great person and living your life in the best possible way then IMO the people who react in a disapproving or judgmental manner are the ones with the problem. Pray for the anonymous responder who had to resort to name calling. Misery loves company and you can be sure that person probably needs help in more ways than one.
ReplyDeleteYou know I am one of your biggest fans. I am enjoying the process of getting to know you better and I want you to be able to see the amazing person that I see in you as you continue this weight loss journey! You are perfect just the way you are....
Blessings!
I'm certain it was not anyone who knows you, because they would never call you that if they did. Hurting people hurt people. If they're miserable, they want everyone else to be miserable too. I'm sorry that happened.
ReplyDeleteI think you are wonderful, beautiful, talented, gifted, accomplished, creative, insightful, caring, funny, competent, smart and you can fold a quilt neater than anything I have ever seen! You are definitely NOT that other word that person used, except of course in the 60+ pound category. :)
As for caring about who cares what about who... (incoherent phrase) For me, the safest road is to care what God thinks. I find I have very poor vision when it comes to looking at myself. I either think I'm way better than I actually am, or I am hyper critical of myself. That's why I'm thankful that God has perfect vision. He sees us as forgiven, redeemed, covered with the righteousness of Christ. Can't get any better than that!
I love you and am thankful for you in a big turkey way!!! (whatever that means!)
Your sister
Oh man, what a cruel thing they did. They must not like THEMSELVES very much to do that. You have spoken some very wise words and it just goes to show the kind of person YOU are! I have also made myself a victim to others' opinions, but you know what? You are SO right when you say those are childhood insecurities that carry forward through the years and what a joy and blessing and RELIEF it is to let go of those feelings! I am so grateful I got to know you as a teen, and even more grateful to have FB to connect back up and see your emotional growth! Love you sweet friend! Pam Becker
ReplyDeleteYou all just blow me away! Thank you for your kind words and all your support. I feel loved. :-)
ReplyDelete